#anyway I did put cinnamon in the loaf and it was AMAZING

[crybaby-bkg]

I made a cinnamon roll loaf today and I’m so mad bc why didn’t the recipe???? include????? cinnamon???? in the fucking????? loaf?????!!????!?!?!?!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #242

I got to bed relatively on time last night. I still woke up groggy as heck, because that is the nature of sleep deprivation injuries; it'll be at least a week or two before my brain fully recovers; such is the nature of the brain cleaning cycle. Oh well.

Nonetheless, I had a lot of fun at work today! There was, along with Mi, Ma, and I, another lady named Tr, and the whole day was filled with laughter and delightful banter as we did our various tasks; it was wonderful!

I'm always amazed at how quickly the time passes while I'm there. I'm always busy, always moving from one task to the next, always moving around, so the four hours pass by in a flash, and I'm always just a little sad when it's time to go home.

They asked me to make muffins again today, and with the practice I got from my first time doing it, I was a lot better at it this time! I even found a more efficient way of filling and leveling off the muffin scoop, and so I was able to fill the muffin tin a lot more quickly than last time, and with far more consistency! The muffin batter was then baked. Here they are in the giant walk-in oven; it's not a great picture, I know, but I couldn't really do anything about the glare...

...And here are the results of my handiwork:

...Aren't they beautiful? Someone's gonna go home with a box of these, and that makes me really happy!

I also put muffins that were previously baked into boxes. Each of these shelves have 6 boxes that contain 4 muffins each. And I filled even more shelves than these today:

...We have them in so many different flavors! We've got pistachio, chocolate, pumpkin, banana-nut, apple cinnamon, corn, and so many more. The ones I baked were cranberry muffins. They're not my favorite, but they're someone's favorite, and that makes me feel really glad.

I like this job. I like the repetitive certainty of the routine tasks. I like the diligence and precision of a job well done. I like knowing that my manager is delighted to watch me learn, and is proud of the efficiency and conscientiousness with which I work. I like knowing that I will only continue to improve. I like knowing that I am working with others towards a shared purpose. I like knowing that I am capable of improving the processes that are used in service to that purpose. And I like knowing that someone is gonna go home with a box of delicious things that were wrought from my own hands.

J requested that I get sandwich supplies on the way home, so I did. I got deli sliced chicken, roast beef, genoa salami, and cheese, along with a loaf of seeded rye bread. With these, I made a sandwich!!! And I put truffle mayo on it, because why not!

Either it was a sandwich of epic awesomeness, or I was just hungry. Either way, it was awesome and I loved it!! I wish I could make one for you!

Hey, Sephiroth? What kind of sandwiches do you like, anyway? What kind of toppings and dressings do you like to put on them? I wonder...

In any case, we went to a birthday party shortly after that. Our friend Mer's birthday was today, and so she decided to gather up a bunch of her friends to eat tasty snacks and play board games! It's nice to know that J and I are on the list of people she considers friends! We played a card game called Boss Monster; basically you're the monster ruler of your very own dungeon that you build out of cards that represent rooms! I ended up getting an entity called, uh... Seducia... I guess. Hahahaha!

But I didn't really have much interest in killing adventurers or winning the game. I just built a party dungeon. I had a ballroom, and a menagerie of rescued critters, and a room that makes people silly, a room with an all-seeing eye, and a room with a lich dragon who is basically an interior designer! I had a cleric come by to try to kill me, because presumably, he thought my entity was too sexy to live (typical...), but he didn't succeed.

I like to think that instead of dying in my "dungeon", he simply changed his mind and decided that trying to kill me is silly, so instead he went to the ballroom and got a sandwich! Sandwiches are sensible. Violence is not. And then I like to think that he decided my dungeon is so awesome that he didn't wanna go home. Because the outside world is a cold and terrible place devoid of sandwiches!!! Or at least, devoid of sandwiches that are as good as the ones I can make!!! Ahahahaha~!!

The whole game was very silly, but fun. I was super sleepy at the end of it, though, so I sat in a recliner for the rest of the evening. I ended up falling asleep in it, even though I didn't mean to. I'm still pretty groggy, even after a number of hours of being home. Suppose I should at least try to go to bed relatively on time...

...In the spirit of that, I guess I'll end today's letter here.

Hey, Sephiroth? Are you staying safe where you are? If you're not, please try a little harder, okay? I don't want to have to endure your absence. I'm not sure I'd be capable of withstanding such a thing.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[sockablock]

When in sudden need of a place to stay, Caleb Widogast finds a room for rent at a price so low he can’t believe his luck. Ignoring the concerns of his friends, he moves in and quickly finds himself tangled up in the life of one Essek Thelyss, a reclusive scholar who may be even stranger than Caleb himself...

(start) - (previous) - (next)

Chapter 2: A Name to the Face

The sun lanced arcs across Caleb’s face as he set his phone down on the nightstand, and yawned.

He’d gotten used to sleeping in strange places during the last few years of his life, and there was a part of him that missed the coziness of his room back in his and Nott’s apartment. But the other part of him, namely the part comprised of bruises from too-narrow walls—relished in this chance to stretch out a little.

Eventually, he managed to sit up. The mattress did not dip sullenly with his weight, indicative of its newness and quality.

He glanced around. The door was closed, though Frumpkin was nowhere to be seen. Then again, mundane cats were already hard enough to confine; as a feline of the fey persuasion, Frumpkin went where Frumpkin pleased.

Caleb took his sweet time making the bed, adjusting the blinds, peering out the window over quiet streets, before eventually rifling through his cardboard boxes for something proper to wear. He also made a mental note to, at some point, ask Mr. Thelyss how the laundry worked.

Then he straightened his collar, took a deep breath, and wandered out into the kitchen.

—

Jester was nose-deep in a box of cinnamon rolls when Beauregard emerged from the shower. Peals of steam curled past the doorframe and dissipated out into the hallway.

“I thought those were supposed to last us the week,” Beau said when she noticed her roommate. “Didn’t we decide we wouldn’t go back to the bakery until Thursday?”

“Oh, but Beau,” icing shimmered in the corner of Jester’s mouth. “Beau, they’re just so tasty. I can’t resist.”

Beauregard pulled the towel off her head and gave her hair one last muss-up. Then she slung herself backwards into a chair and stole some frosting.

“Fair enough,” she licked a finger. “Just be sure to save something for Yasha when she gets back.”

“Back?” Jester’s cheerful demeanor vanished. “Oh, no, did she leave again? I thought she was done doing that!”

“Oh, no she didn’t run off, I think she just went to some errands, or something?” Beau scratched the side of her head. “She mentioned something about seeing a butcher.”

“Oh.” Jester relaxed. “Well that’s alright, then. Though we don’t really cook much.”

“Maybe she’s trying something new. It’s better than eating rats all the time, right?”

Jester gave this due consideration. “I think she only did that once. And then Fjord threw up, so she decided to stop.”

“Hm,” Beau shrugged. “I guess that’s nice of her. Oh, hey, speaking of stopping, what the hell is up with Caleb? Has he responded? With pictures and actual information?”

Jester groaned. “He’s being a real butt about it. He’s obviously there, but he isn’t sending us anything good.”

Beau raised a cinnamon roll. “The bastard.”  

— 

In the light of day, Mr. Thelyss’s kitchen gleamed with tidiness and disuse. In fact, it seemed like only the coffeemaker and microwave ever got any attention from their owner.

Caleb added another step to his mental moving day to-do-list: find the nearest grocery store and get some cereal. And coffee. And maybe a loaf of bread, if he was feeling extravagant.

He settled instead for pouring himself a glass of water and vowing that he would at least pick up lunch once he actually ventured outside. He slid into the kitchen, found a neutral-looking glass cup, and filled it up in the sink.

When he turned, he realized that something was different about the counter.

The little box of cheesecake was gone.

There was a note left, however. It read: Thank you very much, Mr. Widogast.

So, Caleb thought to himself. This meant that his mystery landlord had come home at some point in the night. And…as his gaze drifted past the kitchen and over to the front door of the apartment…yes, there in the foyer was a pair of shoes and a fine, but thin, black cloak.

Caleb had never seen anything like it before. It seemed as if the pattern had been designed to almost be worn like some kind of long poncho. Its hem brushed just over the floor.

What kind of person would wear something like this? The amused thought of vampire briefly flickered through his mind, but he shook it off and chalked it up to spending too much time with Jester.

He glanced back at the note. Something in him also registered: charmingly polite.

He shook his head. Speaking of Jester, he still had a promise to fulfill…

— 

“Fjord, those are ugly.”

“What? I think they look nice—”

“Nice won’t cut it! I need something amazing! It’s been months since I’ve last seen Yeza. I have to really blow him away.”

“Look, what you see is what we’ve got. And anyway, what’s wrong with Delphiniums—”

Nott was standing on a small turquoise stool that some of the more vertically-challenged customers of the Blooming Grove required to reach the counter. Her finger was swaying dangerously underneath the nose of a long-time friend and even longer-time frenemy, Fjord, currently on register duty.

All around them, the sweet and mellow scent of dozens upon dozens of coastal flowers twirled and trilled and danced through the air. Large windows set into the pale green walls let in sunlight and a view of the gardens out back.

“They’re blue!” Nott screeched. “I don’t want blue, Yeza’s going to think I’m not happy to see him!”

“Everyone likes blue,” Fjord said defensively. “Just look at Jester. She’s practically got a fan club. Fine, fine,” he added, when her expression didn’t change, “I can do you some roses—”

“Roses are cliché.”

“They’re a goddamn symbol of love, Nott.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but I don’t just want a symbol of love, I want a symbol of…of passion. Of devotion. Of l—”

“Look, just wait a bit, and Caduceus will be back. He’s the one who actually knows the names of all these things,” Fjord sighed. “He’ll be able to tell you if those even are Delphiniums.”

There was a moment’s pause.

“How have you managed to keep this job, Fjord?”

“I don’t have to help you, you know.”

“Technically, I think you d—"

And then, their phones buzzed.

—

— 

Nott glanced back at Fjord.

“Do you think he doesn’t know?”

Fjord shrugged. “Let’s just see what he says.”

Nott groaned. “It’ll probably be hours until we find out.”

—

—

“He’s going to die tonight, then,” said Beau, kicking off her sneakers. The front door shut behind her with a click. “That’s, like, the first rule to committing a crime. Don’t let them see your face.”

“I think it’s kind of romantic,” Jester said. Now she was in the living room, sprawled across the couch. “It’s like…a forbidden meeting. Maybe he’ll never find out what Essie looks like. Isn’t that sad?”

“Essek,” Beau corrected, and set her keys aside. “And I don’t see what’s so sad about that.”

“Oh, but it is,” Jester lavished in her sigh. “The saddest and loneliest kind of thing. To never see who you’re living with? If you can’t even put a face to the name, you might as well be sharing your house with a ghost.”

Beau raised an eyebrow. “That’s…a little dramatic, but I see what you mean. Anyway, this is a point against the guy. In my books, that is. And I’m keeping track.”

“Oh? How many points does he have?”

Beau joined her on the couch and crossed her arms. “Not many. He’s mysterious, and weird. Those are negatives. Standoffish, if he didn’t even greet Caleb on the first day. And if he isn’t a criminal, and is actually renting out a place that cheap, he must be a total idiot. Or desperate.”

“For what?” Jester asked.

She shrugged. “Who knows? The company?”

— 

Essek was, as a matter of fact, quite desperate. Desperate for another five minutes of sleep.

It was now long after the Mighty Nein had given up on their interrogation, though he was not aware of this. Instead, what was most on his mind was the strange…the odd vibrating right next to his head.

Blindly, he reached out to slap his alarm. His hand connected, but the noise did not stop.

Then he realized that it was coming from the other side of the bed.

He shuffled around to take a peek.

An eye was staring back at him. Large and blue.

“What in the name of the L—”

The cat yawned, and its mouth stretched open to reveal rows of teeth.

Essek hesitated. He rubbed his face.

“How did…what is…”

And then the puzzle pieces slid into place.  

He racked his brain for the name.

“F…Fr…Frumpkin?” he guessed.

The cat yawned again. This time, it followed the gesture up with a mrpf, and unfurled its body. And stretched.

“Hm,” said Essek. “He did…warn me, but…I am not sure if I approve of you coming in here like this. Without announcement, especially.”

Frumpkin stared back up at him. He tilted his head and put on his most endearing expression.

“Well,” Essek relented in the onslaught of this, “at least you don’t seem to be the kind that sheds. Actually…”

He leaned in as close as he dared, a pair of icy eyes tracking his every movement.

“…actually, I’m not at all sure what kind of kitty you are. Your ears are…very long. And your markings are…”

And then Essek realized.

“A familiar?”

Frumpkin blinked at him.

— 

Caleb had found the grocery store on his second try, and had also made note of a bookstore and bus stop on the way there. Now, after a long day of scouting out the neighborhood, he was back in his bedroom again, sorting clothes. No use in holding off, after all, not even if it made him feel slightly strange to be putting all his things away in someone else’s bedroom.

He picked up a t-shirt and examined the back. STAFF, it read. He had no idea for what. The Broad Barn’s secondhand clothing pile was vague at best and hazardous at worst.

Another part of Caleb, the part not fully consumed by the current task at hand, registered the faintest sound outside. It was ruled out as being not important.

Caleb produced another shirt. This one had a picture of a cat on it, red beams of light shooting out from its eyes. This had been a New Dawn present from—surprising to everyone—Yasha.

It had thus far found a long and happy life as the top half of Caleb’s pajamas. He’d tried to wear it in public once, and been bullied mercilessly by Beauregard.

On the other side of the room, past the drawers and the bed, was a small folding table that had been set up by Essek, likely as a desk. It was the sort of low contraption that eliminated any possibility of chairs, but it made a lot of sense for apartment living and was sized well enough for sitting on the floor. It was miles above Caleb’s old arrangement, a piece of plywood on a milk crate.

Right now, this new desk was covered in reams upon reams of notebook paper. Contrary to expectation, however, this paper was not lined with the standard narrow rule of most academic stationary. Instead, a pattern of lines and circles extended out from the center of the page, covering every inch in an odd spiral. Dozens upon dozens of these sheets were strewn about now, with hasty pencil-markings splattered across the page.

A particularly keen-eyed individual might have noticed that some of the markings were crossed-out. Redoubled, re-arranged, re-placed, or removed.

A particularly keen-eyed individual with the right kind of background would have noticed immediately that many of these runes were transmutative.

Back on his side of the bed, Caleb was humming.

— 

When the cat—the familiar, likely a fey one, at that—did not decide to claw Essek’s eyes out, he gingerly picked it up under its forearms and carried it out of his bedroom.

He entered the living room, and saw that it was empty. The curtains were drawn open, however, and at this point the late-summer sun was just beginning to crest low over the horizon.

Essek raised an eyebrow at Frumpkin. “So. Where is your master, hm?”

Frumpkin meowed. It meant absolutely nothing to Essek, but he nodded anyway on principle.

“I understand that you are…well, from what I think I know about ordinary cats, you might like to wander around. But the same rules that apply to your wizard apply to you as well, okay?”

He walked Frumpkin into the living room and put him down on the couch.

“I would appreciate it if you did not enter my bedroom without invitation. The study as well, yes? Meow if you understand.”

Frumpkin stared at him. Frumpkin opened his mouth. Frumpkin closed it again.

It was a vague enough gesture that Essek could not tell if this was a response. He sighed.

“This is why I never bothered with getting one of you, you know. And I’m not even talking about the food bills. Er…do you eat?”

Frumpkin repeated the gesture. Essek repeated it back at the cat in a burst of childish impulse, then caught himself.

Gods, talking to Verin yesterday must have put him in an odd mood. And his brother had kept going on and on about life back in Rosohna, about how wonderful it is, Essek, how much Mother misses you, Essek, how I wish you’d visit, Essek—all that nostalgia couldn’t be good for the mind. Especially when unsolicited.

Still, this did not stop him from checking his messages in the kitchen while he waited for his morning—afternoon—evening—coffee to brew. In the background, Frumpkin rolled over on the sofa. Verin had mentioned something that he’d wanted to talk about, that he’d send over later…

Essek opened up their conversation. Then he scowled.

— 

A solitary figure stalked through the dimming streets of Nicodranas. She stretched, working out the knots in her back, upper arms, feeling the scabs on her knuckles and their sting.

She grinned, wide and toothy, in the sunset.

Unconventional, but it worked.

— 

Caleb had a perfect memory, and never forget anything. As such, the three core tenets of his tenancy in this apartment were virtually scored into his mind.

Be quiet. Be organized. And do the recycling.

Now he stood outside the apartment complex. The winding streets formed a gentle little plaza where the neighboring buildings all shared an open space, which included the public recycling cans.

There hadn’t actually been that much to take out, aside from an empty carton of ramen, a few cat food tins, and some assorted items that Mr. Thelyss must have left behind last night. Still, Caleb had wanted to prove how serious he was about following the Code of Conduct, and so had made the journey downstairs to be a responsible citizen.

The breeze wound around his ankles. Nearby, a few kids were running around with their mother, and a jogger moseyed past their street. It was a peaceful sight, underscored by the distant call of gulls and a setting sun.

Caleb had just nudged open the lid of the recycling bin when the shouting began.

Actually, it was less of a shouting and more of a heated argument, augmented by the harsh syllables of a language that Caleb did not recognize.

If he had, it would have sounded something like this:

“—impossible! I refuse. I did not give my permission—”

“Permission? Why would she need your permission—”

“Because it is my house! And this is my city—”

“Your city? Brother, you’ve only been there a few months—”

“It’s been a year and a half, Verin. A peaceful year and a half, mind.”

“Really? Well, I am certain it will remain that. And anyway, she’s not even going there for you.”

“Hah! I have a feeling that she is visiting Nicodranas expressly to do so. The gala is just an excuse for her to come here and poke into everything I’m doing—”

“Look, look, don’t shout at me. I am just the messenger. If you’re so upset, go and call Mother—”

Caleb swung the bag into the can. As he closed the lid, his curiosity got the better of him and he found himself surreptitiously scanning the perimeter with the universal creep of eavesdroppers everywhere.

Quickly, he found the source of the sound. There was a figure standing in front of his building, pacing back and forth underneath the awning, waving one hand around in frustration. The shadows prevented him from getting a better look, but the figure seemed lithe, and very annoyed.

Caleb would have to slip past him to get back inside.

Tactically, he pulled out his phone and pretended to be incredibly engrossed with its contents. Luckily, it seemed to work—and out of the corner of his eye he even noticed the figure hastily stepping aside.

Then, unluckily, the figure followed him.

Caleb didn’t dare look up. But he could feel the stranger’s presence trail him all the way into the elevator, then settle down next to him as the doors slid shut.

Caleb went to hit the number four. So did the stranger. Their fingers collided.

“Ah—"

“Scheisse, I am sor—”

And then he stopped.

Caleb Widogast was decidedly not a man of the world. He’d never left the continent of Wildemount, for instance, nor could he claim to have seen everything it had to offer. But he had fancied himself rather well-read, and believed that he perhaps had experienced more than the average person.

This was the first time in his life that he’d seen a dark elf.

He knew that they existed, of course, but in the way that he knew the names of far-off places, as distant trivia irrelevant to his life. He knew, for example, that they were native to Xhorhas, and that many of their societies lived underground. He knew that their closest civilization was ruled by a powerful queen. He also knew that in less-polite circles, some Empire elites still believed them to be backwater savages and monsters.

This one was wearing a green t-shirt. His hair was a messy sweep to one side.

“—ry.” He finished, as quickly as he could.

The dark elf shrugged. His eyes—a pale slate gray—took in Caleb’s appearance, then the number they’d both pressed.

“I do not recall ever seeing you,” the elf said. His voice was still a little strained, as if something from before—that argument, perhaps—was bothering him immensely.

“I, ah, I’m new,” Caleb said.

The elf raised an eyebrow. “I see.”

Then he turned back around to stare at the door. Caleb was more than happy not to engage. He just hoped he hadn’t stared long enough to offend a potential neighbor.

The elevator rose three floors. On the fourth one, it stopped.

He quickly ducked out, sandals pattering on the ground, and it was only once he’d gotten to the door of his apartment and started to punch in the code that he realized the elf was still behind him, still standing there, still annoyed, and so he turned—

— 

“Excuse me,” said Essek tetchily. “Why are you entering my home?”

The human blinked.

“Er…this is…where I live.”

“What? But—”

For the second time that day, Essek realized.

“Um,” said Caleb Widogast. “Would your last name...happen to be ‘Thelyss’?”

— — —

✨ Ko-Fi Link in Bio! ✨ | Requests are OPEN

[thiswasinevitableid]

Apple, Delight (Sternclay)

Prompt for the fourth was: Apple Orchard

Barclay has cinnamon sugar in his pores, he’s certain of it. The first of October means the crowds arrive in earnest to Amnesty Farm which, from late September to mid-November, becomes a center for fall fun. They don’t serve tons of food, but Barclay is in charge of what they do offer, his pride and joy being their apple cider doughnuts, which he’s made by dozen since eight that morning.

He’s ready to settle in for the night when he discovers he has less firewood than he thought. Ah well, Sass needs to go out anyway, a trip to the wood pile won’t kill him. 

Except, as he’s gathering an armful of chopped logs, Sass goes tearing off towards the orchards, dark fur disappearing into the shadows under the trees.

Barclay sighs, sets the wood down and starts off after him. It’s not like he can get too lost, since the farm is fenced in on all sides, but it’s supposed to rain tonight and he’d hate for him to be out in it. Plus, if he gets into the garden display again, Dani will be pissed. 

He passes the petting zoo, then the goat and sheep pens, smiling when soft clucks come from the chicken coop. They’re on a country road, so at night there’s no traffic to drown out the sounds of the farm and the nearby woods. Maybe some people find it eerie, but hes’ grateful for the relative quiet after a day of being in the kitchen. 

Skirting the end of the U-Pick Pumpkin Patch brings him to the apple orchards. There are also pear and cherry trees, but the apples make up the bulk of what they grow, and visitors are welcome to pick from designated sections. 

Now if only he could spot a wagging tail or hear a jingling collar in the midst of them. 

“Sass!” He whistles, but no shape comes bounding towards him. Usually when the dog fails to come when called, it’s because he’s chasing some poor squirrel or rabbit into the underbrush.

Which is why, when he hears a  distinctly human cry of alarm, Barclay jumps out of his skin before taking off towards the subsequent barks. 

He finds Sass directing his deep woofs at a man about Barclay’s age, with dark hair that was slicked back at some point but is now mussed, and a sweater and jeans that are far too clean for him to be a farmhand. When he gets closer, he realizes he recognizes the guy; he’d been in with his family earlier that day, and Barclay had just enough time to think he was hotter than the fryer before a new wave of visitors came to the counter. Given that he was there with a woman and  young girl, he’s gonna assume the guy is off-limits for flirting. 

“Sass, c’mon boy, heel.” 

The dog turns, lopes over to Barclay as he steps to the man and offers a hand. 

“Sorry, he’s a surprisingly good guard dog for something that gets distracted by butterflies.”

The man takes his hand, stands and brushes leaves from his sweater, “and he's terrifying to have bolting towards you out of the darkness.”

Barclay raises an eyebrow, “that's kind of the point of a guard dog. Y’know, keeping intruders out?”

“I’m not an intruder, I am a visitor who misplaced something.”

“We’ve been closed for two hours.”

“I’m aware. But the front gate was locked and I couldn't get anyone’s attention.”

“Because the staff who live here live out towards the back. That's why we put that phone number on the gate. '' He turns them back towards the cottage, Sass trotting happily in front of them. 

“Which would have worked perfectly. If the thing I was missing wasn't my phone.” The man holds up a smartphone.

“I mean, guess it’s good you found it, but you coulda used someone else's and let us know to look for i in the lost and found. Folds are good about bringing dropped stuff back to the main farm.”

“I considered that option but I might not have a job come morning if I did it that way.”

“Jesus, where do you work?”

“The FBI.”

“Ah.”

“Yes, pretty much.”

“That how come you were able to scale the fence so easily?”

The man nods.

“What kind of work do you do in the FBI?” He may as well make the most of having a cute guy walking with him. A little practice flirting can’t hurt. God knows he needs it. 

“I work for the, um, the UP.”

“....Holy shit, I didn’t know that was real, I thought they made it up for the X-Files.”

“No, though it involves far more dead ends than that show portrays. Oddly, Twin Peaks is more accurate to what I do.”

“Man, that’s fucking cool agh, shit” rain patters on the leaves, “please tell me you moved your car away from the gate?”

“Only a little.”

“Shit. Okay, you probably figured it out from wandering around, but we are literally on the other end of the property right now, and the golf cart is in the shop.”

“It’s, um, it’s alright, if you get me to the main route through the farm, I can walk back on my own and climb the fence. Again.” His tone suggests he’s already working through the logistics in his head. 

“Uh, if you aren't in too big a hurry, at least let me swing by my place and get you a raincoat?”

“Oh. Um, that’d be great. Thank you.”

They veer right and soon the cottage comes into view. He grabs some dry firewood while Sass waits on the step and the man rubs his hands together. 

Once they’re inside, the man turns to him and Barclay has to work to keep his focus on his words rather than the blue eyes and handsome face.

“May I use your restroom? I got a bit muddy.” He holds up his hands. 

“Just down the hall.” 

The man smiles, and Barclay starts building a fire as he walks away. There’s a ding, and he goes to check in case Mama needs something. But it's not his phone, it’s the other man's, glowing where he set it on the table. 

Hayes: I expect better than technical mishaps from you, agent,

Shit, he wasn’t kidding about work. And his other notification is showing thirty unread emails.

The water shuts off in the bathroom and he hurries back to the fire, is just getting it caught when there’s a groan behind him. Turning, he sees his guest running a hand through his black hair, staring defeatedly down at his phone. 

“I’m moving to the bottom of the sea.”

Barclay chuckles and the man looks a little embarrassed at being heard.

“If you want something closer to home, we're hiring seasonal help.”

“I’m sure it’d do wonders for my physique, if you’re anything to go by, but I doubt I’m cut out for it. I’m white-collar through and through, unfortunately. Sorry” he looks at the hardwood floor, “probably shouldn’t whine about my job, since you’re helping me stay dry instead after I committed at least two misdemeanors on your property.”

“It’s Mama’s, I just work here. And it’s okay. Though, uh, kinda surprised you wanna talk to some random dude on a farm about it instead of, like, your wife.”

“Wife?”

“The woman who was with you today? You came into the restaurant at one point.”

“Oh! No, that’s my sister, I came with her and my niece. Her opinion on my work troubles is to get a boyfriend so I’ll have someone to complain to.”

Barclay closes the fire grate slightly harder than he means to at that last sentence.

“Did, uh, did you all have a good time?”

“Very. Ellie, my niece, adored all the animals, and Lily comes here every year to pick out pumpkins for decorating the house. I, um, my favorite part was the food. Those doughnuts were amazing, as were the pumpkin scones.”

Barclay blushes; a cute guy complimenting his cooking tends to make him all fluttery.

“You thought those were good, then I got something you need to try. Uh, I mean, if you want to stay a little, if not I can get the coat and we can go.”

The man looks at his phone, then back to Barclay, “what the hell, things are under control until the morning. I’d love to stay. Um, may I dry my sweater by the fire? It got pretty wet just in the few minutes we were out.”

“Sure thing uh, Mr-”

“Joseph is fine.”

Barclay smiles, heading for the kitchen, but not before watching Joseph's shirt catch on his sweater and ride up, revealing honest-to-god cut muscle. Instead of asking if he can lick apple butter off his abs, he grabs the jar of said butter, the loaf of bread, and starts a kettle for tea. 

Soon he’s setting a plate and a cup of cranberry-apple tea un front of Joseph, who inhales appreciatively.

“Let me guess; you made all of this?”

“Yep, the apple butter is an old family recipe.”

They eat in silence for a few moments until Sass, roused from his spot by the fire by the smell of food, pads over to sit in front of Joseph and stare. When that fails to produce treats, he turns his puppy-dog eyes on Barclay. The cook makes him sit and shake before tossing him a small piece of bread.

“What kind of dog is he?”

“Bernese Mountain Dog and Rottweiler, we think.”

“Is his name short for something?”

Barclay smiles, “Sasquatch. He had huge feet as a puppy.”

“We have similar dog-naming habits.” Joseph pulls out his phone, “this is Nessie.” When he turns it, Barclay almost snorts tea out his nose, unprepared for the sight of a greyhound in a sweater decorated with tiny Loch Ness Monsters. 

“Believe it or not, she adores that sweater. Last time I took it off to be washed, she whined for an hour.”

“Awww” It’s an adorable image, but not quite as adorable as the thought of Joseph on laundry day, in pajama pants and one of Barclay’s shirts, hair still relaxed from a shower. 

“She’s a good girl.” He tucks his phone away, “I feel terrible whenever I have to travel for work; my sister can’t take her so I have to board her somewhere, and it’s just infrequent enough that she forgets the staff and is terrified of them anew each time.”

“We could always get her used to me and board her here, assuming she and Sass get along.” The offer is sixty percent out of the goodness of his heart and forty percent wanting to see Joseph smile. 

“You’d really do that?”

“The farm is secure, she’d have a playmate, and there’d be lots of people here looking after her. She’d sleep in the cottage, of course.”

Joseph gives him an inquisitive look, then glances down at Sass, who’s wagging his tail so hard he’s sweeping the floor.

“Sure, what the hell. Assuming they get along, the next time I have to go, she can stay here.”

They chat for awhile longer about books, cooking, and various farm mishaps, before Barclay reluctantly fetches the spare raincoat so they can get Joseph back to his car. 

“Doesn’t quite bring out your eyes the way that sweater does.” He murmurs, then tries to correct for the come-on with, “because it’s such a, uh, a nice sweater?”

Joseph stays close to him as he replies “I’d offer to trade, but I’m not sure any of my clothes could survive that broad chest.” He ghosts his fingers across Barclays shirt, “Though it could be fun to see them try.”

The walk to the gate isn’t nearly long enough, and he blushes when Joseph once again thanks him profusely for his help and his company. The walk back, however, feels like an eternity, one that gives him time to doubt the other man had any interest in him at all. 

But all that evaporates when he gets home. Because sitting on the table is a slip of paper with a phone number and a short message. 

For arranging dog playdates. And dinner next Friday if you’re interested.

-Joseph

And sitting just below the message is a small, precisely drawn heart.

[luninosity]

Really going to try to get this chapter of Character Bleed up today, since I don’t have to be on campus...and since we sort of skipped last week because I was working on that Bottom Bucky Fest fic!...but OH GOD THIS IS THE ACTUAL FULL-ON ANAL SEX* SCENE AND THE EMOTIONS ARE A LOT

*as Jason points out, they’re already having pretty awesome sex. It’s just another thing they could do or not do, physically speaking. But it matters for Colby, for reclaiming something.

Here, want a preview?

##

“You always do know what to say,” Colby said. “You know there might not be—there might be some things I just can’t do. Or not often.”

 “So we won’t do them. Or you can tell me when it’s not a good day to try.” More kisses. Colby’d sounded too forlorn. “Anyway, we’re already having the best sex ever.”

 “I suppose so, yes…certainly for me…but you might want something more?”

 “I don’t care. I swear.” He tugged Colby closer, needing to feel that warmth. “This is good. And I’m good with whatever you want.”

 “Hmm…”

 “What?”

 “The problem is, having said that, I rather do want to try.”

 Jason lay there being stunned by this, and forgot to say anything.

 “Not if you don’t want to.” Colby was blushing now, and ducked that head to hide against Jason’s chest. “I don’t know. I only thought…I think I could. With you. And the more I think about it the more I do want to. Like learning to bake bread.”

 “Might have to explain that one.”

 “Not easy, and a lot depends on your equipment and the weather, but certainly possible? I initially had to attempt it quite a few times, but each time made me want to try again. And eventually I ended up with a really lovely simple crusty loaf, and then I got to experiment with more flavors, and shapes, and sourdough, and braided knots with cinnamon and raisins in…I’ve either lost track of this metaphor or it’s become amazing.”

 “Knots I get. Not sure what the raisins are, unless I’m feeding them to you—”

 “You do have interesting ideas.”

 “—but okay, yeah, that makes sense.” He did not ask Colby to look up, only kissed the top of that head. Some part of him enjoyed this: being a shelter, a comfort. “You told me once you could be pretty damn persistent. If you think something’s important. When you’re trying to help someone. Like me.” He wavered over adding the last thought, and finally did: “Or us. Yourself.”

 “Or if I’m trying to talk ciabatta into behaving, and the amount of air in the dough is—no, sorry, deflecting. That one was on purpose.” Colby peeked up at him, and did not otherwise move, being cuddled. “Once again, I’m not very good at this. I was attempting to convince you to have sex with me.”

 “I know it was on purpose,” Jason said. “It’s not as random when you’re thinking about it. More going back to something you’ve already said. I’m keeping up with you okay. Depends on the equipment and the weather, you said. How’s the weather right now?”

 “Quite lovely, in fact,” Colby decided. “Nice and warm. Helping me feel safe. I’m surprised you didn’t aim for the obvious joke about equipment.”

 “I thought about it. Figured you already knew how much I appreciated the equipment.”

 “And you didn’t want to make me nervous.”

 “Kinda, yeah.”

 “Well, I am nervous, but I’m also not.” Colby set a hand on Jason’s chest. Over Jason’s heart. Where it beat under his fingers. “I trust you. Make all the jokes you’d like.”

 “It wasn’t really,” Jason said, honest. “Just that I like your equipment.”

 “I like yours. Especially the size.” Colby paused, grinned, admitted, “I am a bit nervous but I’ve also told you I used to like sensation and being filled up with it…”

 Jason’s dick liked that idea. Jason’s whole body liked that idea. Jason’s entire personal universe crackled with the need to put that idea into practice.

 He forced himself to say, “You know that doesn’t have to mean me, um, bending you over the closest metaphorical table. You like my hands. I can do a lot with that.”

 “I do like your hands,” Colby said. “But I think I’m in the mood for…exploring. Testing the equipment in question. Unless you’re not, and you’d rather do something else. Which is perfectly—”

 “Colby?”

 “Oh. Yes?”

 “Do you, um, ever top?”

 “…me?”

 “It’s fine if you don’t, I don’t care, I’m just asking—”

 “No, I only didn’t expect the question. Most people simply assume. But you’re not most people, of course. Er…I’ve done it twice. No, three times. Two and a half. Both of us were fairly tipsy that middle time and it didn’t work out well. Ah, it’s not precisely my usual preference, but I can attempt it if you’d like?”

 “But it’s not what you like?” He ran a hand over Colby’s thigh, marveling at the fact that he could. “Just thought it might be easier for you.”

 “Oh.” Colby visibly thought about the idea and the caress, watching Jason touch him. “I see. But…no, I think not. I’m not opposed to trying if it’s something you want, but when I’m thinking about, er…when I picture myself wanting someone—if I do—or if I’m reading a very interesting romance, getting lost in that sort of fantasy, imagining…I, ah. Definitely don’t top. Rather distinctly the opposite. As it were. Is that a problem?”

 “Nope. Told you I like being in charge.” He squeezed Colby’s leg: not hard, but enough for affirmation. “And I like you having preferences about things. And telling me about them. Interesting fantasies?”

[derrickappleus]

26 Easy Desserts You Can Make in a Slow Cooker

Maybe it’s just me, but something about chilly weather makes me crave ultra-cozy desserts. I have a huge sweet tooth anyway, but it seems to get more intense as fall and winter roll around. I’m ready to curl up in front of the fire with a cup of tea and just about any type of warm baked good! Of course, that also means I’m not very motivated to cook when I’m wrapped up in my blanket cocoon. That’s why these easy desserts you can make in a slow cooker are perfect: They’re made in the Crock Pot, so they’re all super easy!

Try one of these amazing 26 slow cooker desserts for a deliciously indulgent bite any day of the week. You’d be amazed what you can make in a Crock Pot, so we know you’ll find something you like on this list! Besides, sometimes you just need to have a cheat day, right?

1. Slow Cooker Low Carb Maple Custard

Create the ultimate creamy custard without all the hassle of the stovetop. You don’t have to worry about scalding or curdling the custard mixture thanks to the slow cooker keeping everything at the ideal temperature—low and slow is the way to go. Only five ingredients and bursting with rich, maple flavor!

2. Slow Cooker Apple Crisp

A delicious cold weather treat, apple crisp can easily be made in a Crock Pot. The topping becomes nice and crispy while the apples get super tender. Simply prepare the apples, top them with the crumble mixture, and let it all cook. It doesn’t get much easier than that, does it?

3. Crock Pot Apple Maple Pecan French Toast

If you can have dessert for breakfast, surely it’s okay to have breakfast for dessert! This indulgent treat is filled with fall flavors, including rich maple syrup, crunchy pecans, and sweet apples. This recipe is perfect for a chilly morning brunch or a late evening treat.

4. Slow Cooker Banana Bread

A tried an true classic, yes, but even banana bread can be made in the slow cooker! Is there anything this miracle appliance can’t do? This recipe is simple to assemble, and by cooking the bread at a low temperature, your loaf won’t dry out like it could in the oven. Serve it warm for an easy dessert!

5. Slow Cooker Gingerbread Latte

A sweet drink can definitely be a great dessert, and what better way to be festive around the holidays than with a spicy gingerbread latte? You can even line the mugs with caramel and top it all off with cookies for a festive touch. Making warm drinks in a big batch like this are perfect for parties—there’s plenty to go around, and it’s easy to keep warm!

6. Slow Cooker Peach Cobbler

This recipe reminds me of making cobbler in a cast iron skillet, but using the slow cooker is just as easy and delicious. Using a pre-made yellow cake mix makes this dessert even easier to assemble, and it’s perfect when you’re craving a weeknight treat. Plus, you can use frozen peaches, so you can enjoy this dessert all year long!

7. Slow Cooker Rocky Road Fondue

Fondue is usually seen as a difficult dessert not worth the trouble. By making it in a Crock Pot, fondue night can be whenever you want! With only five ingredients, this treat couldn’t be any easier. Feel free to get creative with the foods you dip into the chocolate! We love using fruits, marshmallows, and and graham crackers.

8. Crock Pot Pecan Pie

Yes, pie can be made in a slow cooker! Impress your guests this holiday season by telling them you made this delectable pie without even turning on your oven. By using a Crock Pot liner, you even cut down on the mess! You can even freeze the baked pie for later—perfect for when you’re busy during the holidays.

9. Easy Crock Pot Caramel Rolls

Commonly known as “monkey bread,” these caramel rolls are made with flavored refrigerated biscuit dough and topped with a deliciously sticky caramel glaze. Done in only one and a half hours, this delicious dessert can be made in a hurry. Drizzle with a bit of icing for a sweet, indulgent treat!

10. Peppermint Nut Clusters

Nothing is more synonymous with festive treats than peppermint, so make a big batch of these nut clusters to give as gifts during the holidays. With only three ingredients (Hershey’s Peppermint Kisses, peanuts, and candy canes), this delicious dessert mix is ultra crave-worthy!

11. Slow Cooker Pumpkin Pecan Cobbler

This cobbler recipe is a warm and delicious addition to your seasonal baking repertoire. It’s filled with all the flavors you love from pumpkin pie but with a fraction of the work. In fact, you get to toss it all into the slow cooker and walk away! After you top it off with the crunchy pecan topping, it’ll be completely irresistible.

12. Skinny Slow Cooker Caramel Apple Cider

This dessert drink is simple to assemble, and it’s even healthy! Plenty of apples, a bit of orange, and loads of cinnamon and other warming spices make this classic drink perfect for a chilly night in. We suggest starting it in the morning and letting it cook on low all day long. This allows all of the flavors to blend perfectly together!

13. Slow Cooker Cinnamon Almonds

Spiced nuts are always great to have on hand, whether it be for a snack or to give as an easy gift. These cinnamon almonds are the perfect blend of sugar and spice. Just make sure to stir them every 20 minutes so they don’t end up in big clumps. We guarantee you’ll be grabbing handful after handful!

14. Slow Cooker Applesauce with Cranberries

Apples are in peak season during the fall months, so put them to good use by making this tasty applesauce! Slow cooker applesauce has been popular for awhile now, but this recipe is a little different. By adding apple cider and cranberries, you get an extra apple-y taste, and a bright tart flavor. Perfect for a chilly night in.

15. Slow Cooker Peppermint Hot Chocolate

What’s more festive for the holidays than hot chocolate? This recipe is silky smooth thanks to the addition of whole milk and condensed milk. The kids will love adding extra marshmallows and candy canes to their mugs, and they can even leave some out for Santa, too!

16. Slow Cooker Lemon Bars

Craving the bright flavors of summer during those bleak winter months? Grab a lemon bar! If you’ve never used the slow cooker to bake before, these sweet-tart bars will make you a true believer.

17. Crock Pot Sugar-Free Pumpkin Pie Bars

Get your pumpkin pie fix without all the work with this amazing pumpkin pie bar recipe. The crust is simple to make, and the filling is deliciously rich like a traditional pumpkin pie. Oh, and did we mention it’s only 76 calories per serving? Um, yes please!

18. Slow Cooker Sweet Potato Casserole

This Thanksgiving staple can be made in a Crock Pot, freeing up some much-needed oven space. With a few pantry staples, this dessert casserole is perfect to make during the holidays. The marshmallows still get nice and toasty on the top, so make your Thanksgiving prep even easier this year!

19. Easy Pumpkin Butter

Perfect for holiday gifts, or just to keep for yourself, this pumpkin butter is smooth and delicious. Packed full of spices, the pumpkin butter becomes thick thanks to the steam generated in the slow cooker. Simply combine all the ingredients and cook it low and slow for optimal results.

20. Slow Cooker Triple Berry Crisp

Another healthy dessert, this berry crisp is perfect for those times you find yourself craving something sweet. Maple syrup adds the perfect amount of sweetness to the dish, and the topping stays plenty crispy when cooked. Plus, you can use frozen berries, making it a year-round treat!

21. Crock Pot Sugar-Free Chocolate Molten Lava Cake

Ooey and gooey, this molten lava cake is any chocolate-lover’s dream. The cake gets an extra hit of chocolate flavor thanks to the chocolate chips. Top it with a hearty dollop of whipped cream and you’re all set. It’s even gluten-free and only clocks in at 157 calories per serving!

22. Slow Cooker Brown Betty

Somewhat of a forgotten bake, the “brown betty” is a baked fruit pudding (traditionally made with apples) and topped with a crumb mixture. This dessert only takes 10 minutes to assemble, making it super easy to prepare. Warm and spicy, the apples become tender when cooked and take on plenty of cinnamon flavor.

23. Slow Cooker Fudge

Did you know you could make fudge in the slow cooker? I didn’t! This decadent, guilt-free fudge tastes absolutely amazing. Each bite contains only 114 calories, making it the perfect portion-sized treat when you need to satisfy your sweet tooth.

24. Crock Pot Apple Pear Cider

Of course everyone loves apple cider, but step up the traditional recipe by adding pears into the mix. The mixture of fruits and spices blend together perfectly, creating the ultimate autumn and winter drink. Maple syrup finishes it off with a natural sweetness—you’ll never buy cider again after you taste this!

25. Crock Pot Sugar-Free Dairy-Free Fudge

Fudge is known for being a finicky dessert, so make this fool-proof version in a slow cooker for optimal results. With only four ingredients, this fudge is slow delicious and creamy, you’ll never know it’s sugar-free and only 65 calories per serving! Bag it up for an easy gift to give during the holidays!

26. Slow Cooker Pumpkin Bread

Spice-filled pumpkin bread is crave-worthy during chillier months, and for good reason: it’s delicious! Studded with chocolate chips, this version is rich and moist thanks to the addition of cream cheese. The inside still stays soft and tender, so you’ll be going back for more slices in no time!

Is anyone else hungry after reading all of those recipes? I know I am! Plus, they’re all so easy to assemble, which means I can take a cozy nap while my Crock Pot does all the work for me. It doesn’t get much better than that, does it? Pull out your slow cooker and get to baking!

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The post 26 Easy Desserts You Can Make in a Slow Cooker appeared first on Skinny Ms..

source https://skinnyms.com/easy-desserts-you-can-make-in-a-slow-cooker/ source https://skinnymscom.blogspot.com/2018/12/26-easy-desserts-you-can-make-in-slow.html

[superfitbabe]

Inspired by a vlog from Kalel re-living in the nineties and an old Travis S video where he basically ate all his childhood favorites, I wanted to try a theme of food to spice up my weekend a little bit. Hence, I decided to experiment and replicate all of my favorite childhood foods and see if I could find healthy-ish replicas of my good ol’ favorites. Plus, who wouldn’t want to travel back in time for a day? Sorry to disappoint you guys, but I didn’t bother to go out of my way and purchase new items for the sake of this full day of eating. I wasn’t certain if I would be able to finish an entire box of Reese’s Puffs or a pint of non-dairy Haagen Daaz. Besides, my childhood self didn’t pay a single DOLLAR for her food. Come on, we’re being realistic here.

What I was even more curious about was how many calories I ate as a child. Honestly, my childhood self didn’t care whatsoever about calories or macros, but let’s be real–given that I ate a lot of sweets, I probably consumed quite a hefty amount. I’ve been intrigued to see how many grams of sugar I ingested into my tiny little growing child body. I’d figure that it’d be a lot–same with calories and carbohydrates, and not too many micronutrients or fiber! I wasn’t interested in putting myself through an entirely sugar-loaded day. Instead of trying to make a completely parallel day of childhood eating, I decided to healthify my typical favorites from way back when.

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BREAKFAST: three cups of this Wild Kratts peanut butter and jelly cereal in coconut milk (fortified with calcium, vitamin D, vitamin B12, magnesium, and zinc), plus a vegan and gluten free chocolate zucchini brownie loaf from Miss Teaberry’s Baked Goods! I used to ADORE eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cereal (ESPECIALLY Reese’s Puffs, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Froot Loops) as a kid.

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This combination was just too perfect to marry my two favorites! I like the taste of this cereal, but I would have liked more peanut butter flavors in the yellow cereal pieces. Not sure if I would purchase it again, as I would rather mix a fruity cereal and a strong peanut butter cereal for more elevated flavors. But the brownie—OH MY LORD. It doesn’t taste healthy at all! It’s so richly chocolatey, soft, and fluffy, but has small chocolate chips inside. I almost wished it was bigger!

CALORIES: 565

POST-WORKOUT SNACK: can you think of a more iconic childhood combination than cookies and milk? Well, my childhood self used to eat cookie dough by the jar and drink three glasses of milk a day. Here I made a vegan True Nutrition salted caramel protein shake and finished the last of my vegan oatmeal raisin and vegan golden Oreo n’ cream protein cookie doughs from The Lions Pack! I reviewed about the cookie dough from this brand before, but stay tuned for more recaps of the individual cookie dough flavors.

Oatmeal raisin: has a lovely cinnamon smell and combination of chewy raisins and oats in a smooth base! Growing up, I also ate a lot of oatmeal for breakfast and would have those red Sun Maid raisin boxes as part of my school lunches. Combined into cookie dough = perfection!

Golden Oreo n’ cream: holds an amazing balance of crunchiness from the gluten free golden cookies inside the creamy dough! I did eat a lot of Oreos as a child, but not the golden kinds. However, if my five year-old self tries them, she would have adored them too!

CALORIES: 337

LUNCH: soy-free black bean tofu with white and orange roasted sweet potato wedges and organic ketchup! SUCH a wondrous meal. The black bean tofu tasted gloriously heavenly and the sweet potatoes were phenomenal. French fries and deep-fried tofu were some of my favorites when I was a kid. However, these are much healthier since the black bean tofu is pan-fried without oil and the fries aren’t deep-fried either! In addition, I topped the black bean tofu with a little nutritional yeast for some cheesy flavor, because as a child, I ate a RIDICULOUS amount of cheese and wouldn’t eat anything unless if it had cheese on it. Now I don’t even like vegan cheese that much and prefer nutritional yeast. Funny how things change!

CALORIES: 1,297

DESSERT: Uh, National Donut Day? How can I NOT celebrate that?! I visited my old favorite Bliss Cafe and purchased a vegan and gluten free chai donut and a snickerdoodle. I normally didn’t like coffee-flavored treats as a child, but I did like donuts and sugar cookies! But both of these were absolutely incredible. Equally fulfilling and delicious!

CALORIES: 590

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AFTERNOON SNACK: Teddy Grahams were always a fave of mine, so these chocolate and blueberry vanilla “heroes” cookies from My Super Foods could not have been more perfect! Made with whole grains like oats and brown rice as well as chia seeds, these cookies indeed have superfoods—but they taste even better!

CALORIES: 480

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POTLUCK EATS: enjoyed some oatmeal coconut cookies and vegan apple pie! I also loved these foods growing up. Didn’t eat too much at the potluck because I had my banquet before and I would have been too full for my dinner if I ate more!

CALORIES: approximately 300

DINNER: went to a senior banquet for my Thai Vietnamese club where I was served a healthy platter of quinoa and steamed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots! This was the ONLY meal that my childhood self didn’t eat. My kid self barely ate vegetables, let alone quinoa. Instead, I used to be more of a fried rice gal. Funny how things change—eating plain steamed vegetables with quinoa instead of high-salt vegetable fried rice! As you have seen before, I wasn’t the healthiest eater growing up!

CALORIES: 294

Reliving the days where I’d go out with a large group of friends on the regular…

…same with dressing up on the regular…

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…and being a total goofball!

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MIDNIGHT SNACK: was I the only kid that would literally stuff my face with bread from a bread basket at restaurants? Yes? Meh, who cares—I LOVED appetizer bread as a kid and I still love it now. My homemade whole wheat baguettes were such a great way to end the day. My boyfriend and I split the last of our baguettes, so he hacd two and I had two. Not gonna lie, I almost wanted to have all four. ALMOST.

CALORIES: 567

GRAND TOTAL: 4,430 calories (and if you’re wondering…I had 188 grams of sugar.)

OVERALL

Truth be told, I cannot say that I am surprised by how ridiculous the calorie count and sugar quantity was of this day. I am remarkably shocked that I never felt overly full or sick during this day because of all the sugar I consumed; I think it’s because I don’t deprive myself enough of these foods to feel so uncomfortable, which is a positive since you should never restrict yourself from anything!

But anyways, I do find these measurements quite concerning. Is this really the kind of diet that children here in the Western culture should be consuming on a regular basis? Feeding young kids a surplus of refined sugar and inadequate amounts of fresh produce? Imagine if I didn’t have the sweet potatoes, black bean tofu, quinoa, or steamed vegetables, and decided to replace those with conventional fast food French fries, vegan chicken nuggets, and fried rice. My sodium content would have sky-rocketed and my fiber content would have plummeted! In addition, I would have felt awful and would have needed a long nap (hey, that’s what childhood is for). Given this little experiment, I recognize that if I were to have kids or babysit for others’ children, I would not feed them this diet on a regular basis whatsoever. However, I definitely would feed them the fortified coconut milk, sweet potatoes, black bean tofu, MySuperFoods cookies, quinoa, and vegetables, all while ensuring that their nutrient requirements are met with mostly unrefined, wholesome, and minimally to non-processed food.

With that being said, I did have heaps of fun eating these meals and trying out all kinds of products! I really want to make more themed-food day posts and videos where I center around a certain element—maybe a peanut butter and chocolate theme, a focus on vitamin A or magnesium, a whole day of Asian cuisine, you name it! I hope you enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed completing it. Let me know if you want more posts like this where I share my daily recipes as well as your childhood favorite foods, and maybe even an estimate of how much sugar you ate as a kid! Hey, not every single child in the universe eats nearly half a pound of sugar every single day.

What were your childhood favorite meals? If you have or plan on having any kids, what would you feed them?

Eating My Childhood Favorites…How Many Calories Did I Eat as a Kid? Inspired by a vlog from Kalel re-living in the nineties and an old Travis S video…

[atypical60]

It’s now 1:03 on Sunday afternoon.  I am enjoying what most likely, will be, the last relaxing weekend of 2017.  The calm before the Holiday Storm, if you will.  Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday and I’ll be baking all Wednesday.  We’ll be spending Thanksgiving at my sister’s brother-in-law’s home. They live only 20 minutes away from us and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone.

Among the desserts that was requested was a cheesecake recipe that I had made for years.  My recipe was published in the St. Ignatius Loyola school fundraiser cookbook that the parents compiled.  I can’t believe I still have this book–it was published in 1992 and this cheesecake recipe is a great one.  It dates itself in that I don’t use margarine anymore!  Here’s the recipe for you!

I miss the Racanelli ladies–they were a lot of fun.  It’s kind of sad when you lose touch with people…

The book is literally falling apart but it’s my prized possession from my days as a NYC mom!   This recipe makes THE best cheesecake ever.  You can top with fruit too!!

Today I woke up a bit—well, somewhat feeling anxiety creeping into my bones and felt like spending the day in my bespoke pj’s.

Nah!  I did NOT want to spend the day dressed like this–actually, I did want to.

But you know what?  I can’t get like that so I did my makeup, got dressed and plopped some bobbed hair upon my head.  I feel better already!

I dressed in a fun outfit–simple but with a mid-1960’s vibe!  Let’s do the Swim or the Mashed Potato!!

Bonaparte and I decided to spend yesterday saving on spending!

Not only did the outlets have some big sales–but they had rather big balls too!!

J. Crew Factory sent me a coupon for 60% off items that were normally on sale for 50% off—so an extra ten percent was a great deal! We did some Christmas shopping and I walked away with a gray Teddie Sweater, the Factory version of my beloved J. Crew Tippi Sweater.

How pathetic am I?  I sent a photo of this dress to Oona with the message  “I wish you were a little girl again so I could dress you up like this” .   Why isn’t that dress in MY size?

I have to say, Bonaparte is so nice to me.  He called me “Mon Ange” yesterday because he said I looked like an angel.

What a man!  Do angels wear fake hair piled atop their heads in a messy topknot?  Perhaps it’s my halo! (And yes. I went out with my hair like that!)

Even when I look like something the cat dragged in, he tells me I look nice.  That was just very sweet and unexpected!  Others call me much worse!!

Seriously—I’m in a good place having gotten a head start on the Christmas décor in the house.  I can concentrate on the food and what I can prepare and bake ahead of time.

Last night we started our dinner off with Escargot—the remainder from the order that was delivered last week.

Ohhhhh..these little snails were so delicious! I could have eaten two dozen!

We had steak with an anchovy cream sauce and I made Brussels Sprouts with cranberries and a balsamic reduction.

That anchovy sauce is life. L.I.F.E!!!

And this wine.  At under $25, it was really good!  It smelled like dirt and tasted very earthy–with a bit of a smokey taste.  Me likey!

Bonaparte was so excited because on Friday I surprised him with his favorite dessert—Crème Caramel.  But, I felt like having a bit of dessert myself.  Naturally, I’m really trying to watch what I’m eating and I don’t normally have dessert.  However, when I was at Produce Junction on Friday, I spotted Bosc Pears.  They were 6 for two dollars.  Now—I’m not a fan of pears unless they are cooked and I thought I might make a Pear Clafoutis for Bonaparte.

It’s amazing how he never tires of Creme Caramel!!  NEVER!!!

Instead, I got selfish and decided to poach some of the pears.  I love cooked pears!  But I wanted to try something different.  Since the cold weather is now in full-swing, I thought it would be a good idea to try some warm flavors in with the sweet.  I added sliced ginger and cardamom for starters.  The recipe is below.

I only used four of the six pears.  I might cook the others and add to salad with bleu cheese!

Poaching away.  Some turned right side up while cooking–see where I cored them?

Here’s the cardamom.  

I store it in a plastic bottle.  This is such a beautifully aromatic spice!

Can I just tell you that when the pears were poaching the scent of the ginger made the house smell so comfy—it was as though our home had turned into a giant bottle of ginger-ale!  But the end result was terrific.  BTW, I did not add cinnamon.  I’m not a fan of cinnamon. At all.  It’s way overused.  And if you would like to try this recipe, by all means, add cinnamon to your liking!

My pretty pears.  This was delicious…

The remainder is stored in this jar.  I’m almost tempted to make a caramel cream but I’m seriously cutting down before the Holidays!

Back to Friday. My mind is always spinning when it comes to the appetizers that I’ll serve—especially during Christmas week. Oona will be here a few days before Christmas.  I think Jake will too—he hasn’t let me know yet what day he will be arriving from L.A.  I’m hoping Roman comes a few days before Christmas —but I don’t know if Fallon will be shooting through the Friday before.  Or—he may come Christmas day with his dad.  (Yes.  I’ve invited my ex-husband and his girlfriend for Christmas dinner.  It makes things easier since two of the three kids will be traveling pretty far—and everyone gets along so why not?)

Anyway, back to appetizers.  I like to make things that are pretty-much non-fussy.  For instance,  Rillettes because they can be made in advance.  With the bread that I make or with crackers, it’s a win-win situation.  Plus, I can take a few moments to enjoy time with everyone before I go back into the kitchen to finish cooking.

Pâté is always a good choice and many of the pâtés I make can be time consuming.  I want something easier.  I spotted the last container of chicken liver at Wegmans and had an idea.  I could make a chicken liver pâté!  The recipe is below for you.  I call it a “Faux-tay” simply because my food snobby Frenchman said that I didn’t serve it formed as a true pâté, in loaf form.  Anyway……

Don’t forget to strain the chicken livers before cooking!  

It was great!  He loved it.  This will be made in a few—actually three more weeks and stored in the fridge for Christmas Eve or whenever the family want’s it!

I like placing sage atop the finished product for that something extra..

The clarified butter really helps to seal the pate and it tastes good too!

This time of year really brings out the cook in me.  I’m no pro but boy, cooking is just so calming for me.

As I write this, I have chili in the crockpot.  I literally threw everything together.  Here’s what I did.

Chili in the crockpot for tonight!

Atypical60 Chili!

1 pound ground beef; 1 can kidney beans; 2 cans Rotel Tomatoes with Habanero Peppers; 1 large onion; 2 cloves garlic; 3 jalapeno peppers; tomato paste; harissa; cumin; chili powder; salt; pepper

Chop the onion, jalapenos and garlic (I pulsed in the food processor—otherwise I would cry because of the onion).  Put a little oil in a sauté pan and sweat all three till the onions are transparent.  Then spoon them into the crock pot.   Add a couple of tablespoons of tomato paste and the harissa into the onion mixture and stir (I used tubed tomato paste because it’s more economical).

HARISSA!  I LOAD up on this when I’m in France because it’s dirt cheap–I can get two tubes for about one euro!  Here is like four bucks a tube.  If you can’t find it, don’t worry–the chili will be fine! This is just my secret ingredient that is no longer a secret!  

Brown the meat in the same pan that the onions, etc. were cooked in.  When browned, drain the grease of the meat.  Then put the meat into the crock pot.

Open the cans of the Rotel tomatoes and pour contents into the crock pot.  Add the kidney beans—bean liquor and all.  Give it all a good stir.

Add the cumin (I add a lot!) and chili powder, salt and pepper.   Cook it all in the crock pot for a few hours on low.

Serve over rice topped with sour cream and fresh cilantro.

I can tell you this much—this chili has a ton of heat from the habanero’s and the jalapenos.  If you like a milder chili, get the regular Rotel tomatoes.

And that’s about it!  Hope you like the recipes and I hope you are enjoying this calm weekend before the Holiday Storm!

In homage to my outfit today, I give you…James Brown from the movie “Ski Party”!!! Part of the entertainment of this clip is watching the extreme lack of rhythm that white people have–watch the clapping!

  That Last Weekend of Calm Before The Holiday Storm—And a Few Easy Recipes For You! It’s now 1:03 on Sunday afternoon.  I am enjoying what most likely, will be, the last relaxing weekend of 2017.